Balls to political extremism
You ever seen one of these?
It’s a voting system where you put ping pong balls into buckets.
I have one of these in my head for every subject you can think of. There’s one for:
- school closures
- the existence of god
- whether dogs are a good idea
- climate change
- my favourite animal
- should we be eating meat?
- personal pronouns
- Piers Morgan
- Wuhan lab escape
- flat earth
- Monster Munch?
- Maggie Thatcher
- Should I worry about pink stuff they inject into Bacon?
- Do they inject pink stuff into Bacon?
- Never hit your kids
- Love Actually
- The Empire were actually the good guys
- Bernie Bros
- Nothing matters
- Everything matters
- Going crazy
- Whether you should use the word crazy
With the exception of Love Actually (because it’s a terrible film and you’re an awful person if you like it), every bucket has at least one ball in the counter-bucket. Some buckets it’s not even clear what the question is. Some buckets have very few balls in them (I’ve just not thought about it that much), some buckets are overflowing. Many are 50:50. Some are 99:1. At least one is 10345:5823 just because there’s so many of these buckets, one of them must be.
And if it wasn’t already confusing enough, all the buckets are connected to the other buckets through an elaborate hopper mechanism. The balls from one effect how many balls you have to put in the next bucket. Some of the balls defy gravity and go backwards.
And then somebody will come along and ask you a really blunt, black or white question.
“Should the United Kingdom remain a member of the European Union or leave the European Union?”
So I squint at all the buckets. And the buckets around the buckets because those buckets might be wrong. And then I go to the dartboard.
There’s a couple of buckets that are positively overflowing now:
“Why’s everyone else so confident in their decisions?”
and its sister bucket:
“Should they be?”
That one is 99:1 in the “No” bucket. 99:1 is an over simplifcaiton because there’s about 100 hundred buckets such as “hmmmm… depends” but you get the point.
And I think there’s a lot of us in that “hmmm… I dunno” camp.
I don’t mind if somebody squints at their buckets and says “hmmm, yep Trump” or “Bernie”, “Remain”, “Leave”, “Tory”, “Labour”
I only care that they have to squint. Maybe you don’t have to squint that hard.
Political extremism for me isn’t the final result you get to. Political extremism is being 100% sure you’re correct.
Balls! to political extremism.
NB. This is part of a project to practice writing every day.